Are we humans? Or are we dancers?

I don't feel cut out for university. Not one bit.

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But then I take two step backwards and survey the situation around me - everything's in slow motion now, and the sounds are louder than usual, bursting my eardrums. It's "Retro Modern". It's contradicting. It never feels right, but it always fits. My socks never match, but they look good paired up together anyway.

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Two words: University rocks/sucks. (Whichever you prefer, y'know?)

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Not blogging has actually boosted my writing capacity. Or at least, that's what I want to feel. Throw in some sleep-deprivation together with the continuous sense of overwhelming awe in the same cooking bowl, and there you have it. Disaster in a minute or two. University is everything at once. It's hell and heaven, put together. It's absurd and it doesn't make sense, but it's logical.

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I love university.

I hate university.

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Why the overlapping feelings? Why the opposites? Because, elementary, my friends - Opposites attract.

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And I so badly want to feel more educated and sophisticated in this mass of students from all walks of life in one university - but all the more I want it, all the more it's slipping away through open fingers. Well, blame me for opening my fingers.

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O-week was packed with absolute fun and heavy nights of wild partying. Now that school has started, there's no more glazed eyes and walking zombies around Womens. What? NO FUN!

University is living up to the expectations of a Harvard Graduate. I don't belong here, but I badly want to. I want to be eighteen and be an international student who gets varied reactions when people actually find out that I'm from Singapore, and that I'm not from China (Or Chinoise in french!); that I actually Speak English!

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Everythings tumbling down on me, but everything's fixing itself up too.

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I guess that's what university life is like.

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And i terribly enjoy it(: